If you dig deep into my DNA, you will see I have the gene sequence that makes you obsessed with lawyer shoes. It’s true. Naturally, I watched one episode of Suits on Amazon Prime and have not been able to stop. It has everything. A guy with a photographic memory. Arguably the best member of the royal family. Endless pencil skirts. What more do you need? That said, there are some things about Suits that are weird. While I haven’t finished the show in its entirety (I plan to stop when Meghan Markle leaves), I feel compelled to list these oddities.
1. It’s about lawyers who like settling outside of court
Wait—what? A lawyer show that takes the drama of the courtroom, including its many cross examinations and “objections” and says “no thanks! I prefer the drama of ‘settling outside of court.'” How do you pitch this as a premise in Hollywood? It sounds so boring on paper. I actually found myself wondering at one point if Harvey Specter secretly has performance anxiety and this is why he has shaped his whole career around being “the closer.” This would be a good subject for his therapy sessions. Maybe everyone at Pearson Specter (etc. etc.) all hate public speaking. We’ll never know!
2. This show hates weed
The way they talk about marijuana on Suits you’d think it was heroin. They have to take a drug test when they start, and detecting weed is such a big deal that it would get an associate fired. At one point, Mike Ross’s no good friend Trevor (who is a weed dealer!) even shames Mike for smoking a joint. Harvey basically tells Mike that if he wants to be a successful person, he can’t smoke weed at all. Yet everyone on the show drinks whisky and wine all the time. Is this show backed by big D.A.R.E.?
3. Mike’s central conflict feels really lazy
I buy into Mike being an orphan for the most part, but when I really think about it, it seems like a pretty canned “backstory.” His parents were killed in a car accident, and that’s why he has more compassion than other lawyers. It kind of reminds me of how Kate on Lost was a bank robber and you’re like ok I guess????
4. The women need more plotlines
Jessica Pearson is a badass character, but she just doesn’t get much screen time. Rachel gets plenty of screen time, but usually it’s because she’s such an important accessory to Mike. Can the creators of this show please watch The Good Wife and Ally McBeal and write these ladies some better stories? They’re always just like, “You boy characters are so zany! I guess I’ll allow it!”
Anyway, like I said, I haven’t finished the show. Maybe the final seasons will be all lady-driven and they’ll smoke tons of weed and take more cases to court. We’ll see!